I have been in a rock-climbing slump for the last two weeks. Every day I think “Monica, get in the car and drive to the gym”. The gym is not that far from my house. I drive there every weekend for work. For whatever reason, the idea of trying to climb just depresses me. It makes me want to dig myself deeper into the blankets.
I love rock-climbing so much. That has not and never will change. So, it makes me wonder why I seem to have such a strong aversion to it right now. Here are a couple of my theories:
1) I am afraid.
I know for a fact that my climbing skill is nowhere near as powerful as it was before my recent flare-up. Before December I was doing so well, I was pushing myself, I was strong and capable on the wall. I know that every time I flare up, I lose a lot of my strength. Maybe I am just afraid to try and fail until I am 100% sure I will come back at the same place.
Yes, I know that is a ridiculous thought. If I want to be as strong as I was, then I need to continue to work out and climb. I can’t expect to be the same strength if I just rest for two months.
2) The “Honey-Moon” period is over.
Let’s face it: until last July, I hadn’t been able to climb in over a year. When I started back up again, it was new and exciting. Sure, I climbed for 7 years before that, but the fact that I wasn’t physically able to do the sport made this time different. Now that I can climb every day it is not as exciting and it is part of my routine. It is just one more thing to tick of my to-do list.
Who the heck knows. I know it is my brain and my emotions but I have no idea why I am feeling this way. I started to climb again a little bit and even though it doesn’t feel all that great, I can feel myself getting back into it. So, at least there is that!
For those of you who read this blog: Do you ever feel this way about your sport? Maybe I am just reading way too much into this.
Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.
the Rite of Aging...early 
Definitely yes for the fear! It’s so frustrating to be back at square one – or square seven – or whatever square it is that takes you far away from where you were/where you want to be. You just feel like crap. And it’s depressing. And it’s easy to try and avoid it, because no one wants to feel like that.
As for the honeymoon period, I can’t really speak to it. I haven’t been able to run consistently for long enough to get into one of those. But I think it can happen – it’s something I’ve definitely heard a lot about.
My thought/advice? Find something in climbing that you don’t really do a lot. Whether it’s a style (sport/bouldering/etc), or a type of route (crimpy/overhanging/etc), or place (if the weather is getting nicer, maybe a trip to Carter Rock would be awesome!), or whatever. It’s something new/slightly different to focus on and if it’s something you never did a lot of, your skills/strength won’t have fallen as far. Maybe that could be revitalizing/exciting?
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What you wrote is not ridiculous at all!! The term “honey-moon phase” is so appropriate. I relate to this topic/post a lot because I tried swimming three times back in July/August (2013). It had been over 4 years that I was not able to swim so it definitely did feel like a “honey-moon phase” when I was swimming. Then my back flared up on me again so now I don’t know if I can or should swim ever again. And it is definitely frustrating being back at square one – my back is improving every day but I still can’t walk for more than 25 minutes. Back in July I was able to walk for close to two hours. I think one of the reasons why I waited so long to try swimming after my surgery was “fear”. Again, nothing you said is ridiculous at all.
I can’t begin to tell you how comforting it is to read your blog because I think to myself, “Finally, I’m not alone. Someone else out there really is asking the exact same questions as me and dealing with similar issues.”
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