12 Sunday May 2019
Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis
Nothing to disclose.
I cannot believe we’re almost halfway through the year! Time really flies (whether I’m having fun or not)…
This week I am grateful for…
….access to medical insurance. I moved forward with my sinus procedure and follow up appointments, both of which were fully covered by my insurance. Now, I am one step closer to controlling my chronic sinusitis!
What are you grateful for this week?
HI, my name is Monica and I have RA.
10 Friday May 2019
Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis
Nothing to disclose.
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Oh, my lungs hurt? It’s the methotrexate. My ribs are inflamed? It’s the rheumatoid arthritis. My tongue is sore? That’s just the Sjogren’s. Your head is completely congested? That’s just your unrelated sinusitis.
I’ve been out of commission for months. Around October, my chronic sinusitis flared badly and I’ve dealt with infections ever since.
I wrote an article over at RheumatoidArthritis.net about how sometimes conditions are not all tied to my autoimmune!
Link: https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/chronic-sinus-infections/
I hope you enjoy the post!
Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.
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23 Friday Nov 2018
Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis
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I’ll be perfectly honest, I’ve been a “Mopey Molly” the last few weeks. I’ve been almost sick so I felt totally spent. Just being awake was difficult. It was hard to feel good about anything until my sinus infection finally broke out and I am now on antibiotics and getting better.
Every Thanksgiving I write a post detailing what I am grateful for because even though I am dealing with a pretty heavy illness I still have so much good in my life.
So, without further ado, here are the things I am most thankful for this year…
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My Brain
Rheumatoid Arthritis robbed me of my physical ability but I still have my wits. As long as I maintain my mental state, I can conquer the world.
Family
RA is an autoimmune disease which means many of the symptoms (many, not all) are internal and invisible. Often times, chronic illnesses warriors feel isolated and unloved because the people around then don’t believe them.
My family helps me when I need it, doesn’t make me feel bad for it, and most importantly (for me, at least) doesn’t treat me like an invalid because guess what, I’m not.
Friends
It really astounds me how often people think I’m a burden because they feel like they have to make accomodations for me. (First, educate yo damn self and second, I make my own accomodations, thank you very much).
I am so lucky I have “true” friends who grab my arm and help me get up on to a curb; amigos who stop so I can take a break and don’t bitch about me holding them up; besties who help me cut up my food at restaurants without a lick of judgement.
And, what’s especially amazing is they just do. I rarely ask for help and my friends know how embarrased I get asking for it especially when it comes to my RA.
My current physical ability
I complain about the pain and swelling and immobility but truthfully, it could be worse. I am still mostly able-bodied. Yes, I do sometimes need assistance (canes, walkers, etc) but I still have the OPTION to use them.
Work
Sure, I cannot work full-time without pain, fatigue and other symptoms but at least I can work. And, I am lucky that one of my jobs is done from the comfort of my own home.
…Speaking of…
Home
I live in a beautiful house, in a safe neighborhood, close to everything I could possibly need, including…
Doctors
…access to some of the best doctors/specialists (human and veterinary) in the country. They’ve kept my disease from progressing and I don’t have to wait ages to see them. Most I can see within days.
Private Insurance
It does not escape me that I could be paying thousands of dollars every month on medication alone. Add in doctor’s visits, specialists, routine imaging, etc I could either a) experience serious monetary instablity or b) forgoing important treatments all together because I point blank can’t afford them.
I am especially grateful I can afford good private insurance that covers most of my medical costs and ensures I can see all those great specialists without leaping through any fancy hoops.
My Pets
I bet you were wondering when they would pop up, right?
I don’t even know what to say except where would I be without them? They give me purpose (when I often feel like I have none anymore), they keep sane and safe. I am fortunate I can care for all of them both physically and financially.
What are you grateful for this week? LMK in the comments!
Hi. my name is Monica and I have RA.
13 Tuesday Nov 2018
Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis
I struggled to put the litter in the trunk and as I turned to return the cart a man…rushed up and said “Let me take care of that for you”.
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How many times do I see someone struggle to carry something or just need help reaching something from a higher shelf? How about something basic like holding the door for the next person. What about a plain old “thanks”? These little gestures seem par for the course, right? Wrong. It amazes me that true decency doesn’t exist in the world.
I am young…I look even younger. So, I’m fit, right? Why do I need a disability placard? Why does it surprise me that nobody helps when I don’t see anyone jumping to an elderly person’s aid?
So, when something amazing thing happened to me it meant so much more than just the kindness of strangers.
Interested in the rest of the article I wrote? Click here to see my full thoughts at RheumatoidArthritis.net!
Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.08 Saturday Sep 2018
Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis
I’ve always been a bit of a loner. I prefer to stay on my own than go out with a group of people. So, when I was diagnosed with RA I wasn’t surprised I isolated myself even further.
Pride and embarrasment fueled this transition and I found myself pushing everyone away. I have always done this when I find myself weak: weak mentally and now, weak physically. I didn’t want people to see me in a state of pain, disability and sadness. But, friendship is a two way street and I would frequently counter the generic “oh wow, I haven’t heard from you in a while” with a “you could have reached out to me”. You know what my “friends” said?
“Out of sight, out of mind.”
Who can blame them. I hibernate and shy away from the world so how can I expect anyone to care enough to check in on me. There’s more to this, though. Most people find my RA a burden. I’m not sure why when they don’t have to live with this disabiling, disfiguring illness every second of every day. But, because humans are inately selfish, they believe that my illness affects them in some way.
I have never asked my friends for help or accomodations so I don’t know where this annoyance comes from. I know how to take care of myself and I know how to handle situations on my own so…
Why do people get annoyed with me for something I can’t control and that I don’t make anyone else’s problem?
Constant isolation destroys the human psyche. We are social animals who crave attention but honestly, I’ve only experienced negative feelings towards me so I continue to be on my own even though I know it will eventually lead to my own distruction.
Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.
30 Thursday Aug 2018
Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis
August is always an odd month regarding my personal life so it’s only fitting my RA acted very strangely as well. On the 6th, my family mourns my mother’s passing. I generally flare just a little because I’m obviously not in a sunshiny mood but thankfully, my symptoms are never too bad.
I spend the rest of the month catching up on my online work, slow down my summer hours and gear up for the Fall season. I lower my Prednisone dose (sometimes unsucessfully) and just recharge for the months ahead.
Money is not necessarily tight but I do watch my dollars more because of Vet Day: The most expensive day of the year. Marmalade, Sunsilk and Affie all visit the doctor at the same time for their routine wellness and vaccines. While I know how much I’m spending it always hurts a little when I insert my card and watch all that money fly away. I’m honestly not at all fussed because I know how much I could be spending and if a few hundred dollars maintains their wellbeing than I’ll gladly fork that money over. By the way, all three geriatrics are happy and healthy!
This Fall was supposed to be special. I finally decided to get certified as a veterinary technician. I applied to the only community college that offered a good program and was all set to take the pre-requisite classes. I didn’t get off the wait list for the one orientation class and it is only offered in the Summer and Fall sessions. Well, it looks like I’m not getting into the program for another year. And, by then, what’s the point if I’m just going back to Colorado soon anyways? Do I really want to spend three more years here? I’m honestly not sure.
I don’t know, in general, August has been a funny month. I’ve found in past years it’s my “blue” month. I flare up and just feel unhappy, overall. This August has been fun in some ways though, but I know my head is not necessarily in the right place for seriously good things to happen.
Who knows what September will bring? Hopefully better opportunities.
Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.
29 Wednesday Aug 2018
Posted in Rheumatoid Arthritis
I started this blog to document my journey with Rheumatoid Arthritis and soon after converted it to a nail art/beauty blog. I still want to write about my RA but it’s difficult for me because I am just not used to discussing it. I internalize all my problems and deal with them myself.
I need to get out of this mindset. Even though, I don’t anticipate a lot of people reading my inner thoughts and particularly caring, I just need to put these words out there. I’ve found that sometimes, just writing things down and getting them off my chest and out of my head helps me compartmentalize more.
Who knows? Maybe I’m just making shit up as I go along and I don’t actually don’t know anything.
Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.
