“I heard exercising cures RA. You should just do more of that!”
And I heard if you shove your head far enough up your ass you can see your stomach!…
Okay, so that is a little harsh. But…not really.
If you do not live with chronic pain or a physically disabling autoimmune you can’t imagine what it feels like. You can’t google Rheumatoid Arthritis and immediately understand what it means to have it. You don’t know, well, until you know!
Long ago I stopped giving people the benefit of the doubt. Many say I’m too severe and expect too little of them. But what I’ve learned is people just want to sound intelligent. They love to sound like they know what they’re talking about. It’s human nature to be superior. Lao Tzu, the founder of Taoism, once said “Those who know don’t talk. Those who talk don’t know”. The above statement is a prime example of this.
I realized that when people talk it is not because they care but so they feel better about themselves. They think that if they look up a few facts on the internet, regurgitate the information I give them, they sound caring. In reality, they just annoy me.
Yes, you’re partially right. Exercise does alleviate symptoms of RA, however, too much of it can have the opposite affect and do more damage than good. Why? Too much motion and repetitive motion exacerbates inflammation around the joints, causes the immune system to react and attack. I probably don’t have to mention that there is no cure for the keyword: chronic autoimmune condition. So, no, I can’t just exercise the RA away but, gee, thanks for trying.
Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.
Among other reasons, this is why I am so very fond of you!! It takes guts not just to deal well with any chronic illness as well as you do, but also to accept and be willing to share what you say here!! (And you are so incredibly right and on point, it’s so welcoming to hear from someone other than my husband. I can’t get any of my family members to understand this either.)
My most recent one that drives me absolutely bat-shit was: “Well, isn’t there something you can do?” Of course, this was said after the person suggested (lectured really) that acupuncture will fix me. And then when I replied with factual basis why it wouldn’t, she made that accusatory reply. I had everything in me not to scream – “Of course there are lots of things I can do to make my life pain free and wonderful, I just am incredibly lazy and a horrible person who loves to be in so much pain that it controls my life so I can’t do the things I want to do…..” ….yeah, I didn’t yell that or say anything, just smiled…because she is my neighbor and maybe someday I will need that “cup of sugar” (or have a real emergency)…but ugh.
Thanks for writing these, and letting me vent too! 🙂
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Hehe….I’ve heard variations on “you’re not doing enough to change your situation”….to which I really wanted to ask “what do YOU suggest, oh knowledgeable able-bodied person???”…
A lot of people tell me that when people say things like that they mean it a certain way but it comes out wrong or unintentionally rude…BS, I say!!
Whenever you want to vent hop on over!! We can hate on people together…hehehehe 😀
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I hate people that think that they are expert on a subject, just because they Googled it. Feel better.
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Thanks Tony! I appreciate the kind words….it is unfortunately a product of this era, every is an expert because they find info so readily online!
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