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Freehand Winter Berries Nail Art with Zoya Nail Polish and Acrylic Paints | Monica with RA

For the past five years (at least), I’ve made a conscious effort to nap and rest more, as my body needed it. It’s hard to say why but if I don’t get my midday nap in I am totally gone by 5 or 6pm.

I made a resolution to not be so hard on myself when I did need a break. You can see my 2020 resolutions post here. And I have been really good to myself, in that respect. I look forward to my rest and embrace the nap…every day!

But, for the last week or so, I haven’t been able to fall asleep. When I am doing well, disease-wise, I don’t need to rest during the day but right now I wake up feeling lethargic. I feel the lure to lay down but once I’m horizontal I cannot fall asleep!

My mind races a mile a minute and I can’t calm it. I feel worried but I am not sure why I feel that way.

I’ve gotten pretty good at managing my stress and one technique is to identify what is bothering me. However, right now, I can’t put a finger on the reason.

Marmalade is stable (she has severe kidney disease), Mocha is doing well behaviorally, and Affie/Sunsilk are living like champions. Work is going well, I feel financially secure and my relationships are strong. So, what is it?

February was hard because Marmalade was not well and Sunsilk lost her sight suddenly (it has since returned) but I never felt particularly overwhelmed during that time.

Can it be a delayed reaction to that previous stress? Maybe I was running on adrenaline for a few weeks and now that I have a chance to breathe my body is just spent.

I don’t want to get into a bad habit, though. I am dragging by late afternoon and cannot get anything done after 3pm. I don’t want this to be a new normal where I spend the entire day in a zombie state.

Hopefully, like Rheumatoid Arthritis flares, this fatigue will pass. Fingers crossed because I cannot go on like this!


Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

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