Nothing to disclose.

Join my Spoonie family!

YouTube | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

Let’s start with the obvious. My medications are not working as well as they should so they cut out early (before my next dose) and I become fatigued and painful.

This has always been a problem but now that I am in school and I need to focus, study and retain information, it’s just a bit harder to function properly when my body doesn’t cooperate.

My eyes are tired dry from Sjogren’s. I cannot read a computer screen or a device screens for long periods of time. I have to take frequent breaks which just eats away quickly at the day. I hate glasses and that I have to wear them all the time. I cannot wear contacts. I hate that I have to constantly push my glasses up the bridge of my nose. I hate that they fall off, especially when I look down or sweat. I hate that because they move around so much I get headaches. I hate glasses.
I hate that they don’t even make my contact prescription anymore. I have to buy them just slightly higher and lower than my actual prescription so I just can’t see. I hate that I have to wear glasses. I hate that I get headaches.
I hate that I wake up every morning with a sinus headache that carries through the day. I hate that I am on medications that cause these stupid sinus issues.
I hate that I wake up in pain. I hate that I am in pain every second of every day. I hate that this is my life.

I hate everyone who goes out without a mask and takes selfies with people who are not in their quaran-pod. Great, you social distance and wear a mask…but take it off for a photo? You’re an idiot and you’re the reason why this pandemic carries on the way it does. I hope you are not responsible for someone’s death; but, you probably are. Think about that for a second.
You ARE definitely responsible for me not being able to go back to work safely. So thanks.
I hate that I didn’t get my stimulus check. I hate that I make less than 50% of what I made before. Money is tight. I have four pets to care for and now I have to pay for school.
I wonder every day is this really going to be the rest of my life. A life where I am enslaved to my body. A life where I hate waking up every morning because I have to put on glasses that don’t fit and feel pain with every movement and hate everyone because they’re stupid and selfish. How sustainable is this type of life? It’s a not a good life. It’s not even an okay life. But, I just have to deal and get on with it. Wow. Can you imagine, waking up and not looking forward to anything because it all sucks?

Yeah, that’s pretty damn pathetic. But, it is what it is. And that’s just too bad for me.

Also, this new WordPress is real shit. WordPress, why did you have to fix it? The other editor was perfectly fine. In fact, it was perfect compared to this mess of a situation. I would switch platforms but I paid for this domain for a year. ::Shrug::

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

Like what you see? Please consider supporting my content by donating through PayPal or Venmo: @Monica-Sengupta!