It exists! Good pain!

Two weeks ago, I climbed for 5 days straight, two to three hours each session. First of all, I know right? That sounds a) completely unbelievable and b) totally regrettable. But, guess what? I felt amazing. I hurt but it was all muscle pain and no, it was not “I strained a muscle and now I cannot move”, it was “I had a great workout and now my muscles are repairing and strengthening themselves”!

I texted a good friend of mine on staff to tell him I was in pain and at first he thought it was a flare. I gushed over how great this good pain felt.

I forgot what a good workout felt like. I felt mobile, happy, charged, and overall “normal”.

…I dislike using the word “normal”. My normal no longer exists. My RA-ridden body is the new norm yet I still remember what “normal” feels like.

This is probably holding me back, mentally. I do not mean, life-wise, getting a job, moving around, living…I mean, I cannot move forward with this disease. I keep hoping it will go into remission, I will go back to the way I was.

All of that aside, I was thrilled. I remember way back in high school my muscles ached when I climbed too hard and I felt painful and uncomfortable. I remember my annoyance when I pushed my body too far when I shouldn’t have. I knew my limits and ignored them.

Now, I love this pain. The muscle pain reminds me I am still able-bodied, I am still capable, I am not just the RA. I still have limits and push myself past them.

How strange, right? My perception of pain completely changed. Regardless, I still have to pick and choose my battles like whether I should climb or cook the dog food, I still cannot do both in a day.

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.