When I was a child…

27 Tuesday Aug 2013

Posted by MonicawithRA in Rheumatoid Arthritis

Tags

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child…”

People find me strange. I turn giddy when I talk about the Hobbit. I wear my Winnie the Pooh earrings with pride. I manage to connect any real life event with I Love Lucy. I show no fear when gushing about Scooby Doo.

People say I never grow up.

I am ok with that. I have been through enough in my life to know that it is important to remember the happiest memories. For me, those memories are my childhood. I watched I Love Lucy marathons with my mother. I watched Scooby Doo cartoons in the morning. I read Winnie the Pooh books every night. I was happy and carefree. I did not worry about the future. I did not worry about college or what happens after I got that degree.

The world was open to my dreams and expectations.

I did not know limitations.

I worry so much now. Those memories keep me grounded. I am not afraid of showing my passion for my childhood obsessions. Those obsessions remind me of a time when I was always happy. I am rarely happy anymore. I am overwhelmed but I find peace in the small hidden treasures in the back of my mind.

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

Quote

The Power of a Good Book

25 Sunday Aug 2013

Posted by MonicawithRA in Rheumatoid Arthritis

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

flare, inspiration, rheumatoid arthritis

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

In my first blog post I mentioned that I hoped writing online would prove therapeutic to me. I can honestly write down my feelings and have a conversation. I can express my thoughts to an audience who does not have to respond or judge.

After I posted my last entry I felt a great relief wash over me. I wish I had known this two weeks ago. I keep a personal hand-written journal but it is different. The only audience is me.

After the relief wore off I thought clearly about the things that make me happy. One of them: Lord of the Rings. Reading the trilogy brings me a sense of calm. I love to read but that is the only book capable of transporting me into another world. A world I can imagine myself in, a world I want to live in. No matter what is happening in my life, I know Lord of the Rings will carry me through.

The book not only paints a vivid picture but is full of quotes that give me peace and hope. One of my favorites is from The Fellowship of the Ring. I think it fits my situation perfectly. It lifts me up and makes me want to work through my issues.

I know I have to find a stable coping mechanism for my disease. It used to be climbing but I am not always able to do that. It will take some time and I am sure I will hit blocks along the way. I just need to remember that there are soft pieces of wall I can break through without harming myself. (A reference from my last post).

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.