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Category Archives: Animal Sciences

The Love of my Life is a Cat…

14 Sunday Oct 2018

Posted by MonicawithRA in Animal Sciences

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

marmalade

…And here’s why.


Why is my Relationship with my 17 year old Cat, Marmalade, so important?When I was twelve I understood death. I understood the most important person in my life was gone and not coming back. I understood her body was no longer alive.

 

fullsizeoutput_2e7bI didn’t understand what death meant. I didn’t realize my mother wouldn’t see me graduate high school, college, or graduate school. She wouldn’t see me date or marry. She would never meet her grandchildren. She would never see me grow up, fulfill my dreams, and carry on a happy, whole life.

 

fullsizeoutput_2e75I was lucky she didn’t work after I was born. She stayed at home with me. She drove me to school every day. We played the license plate game and I memorized the states on the map. I recited Japanese and Spanish. She cooked my meals every night and made me do logic problems at the dinner table. She dragged me to all her appointments and let me sit there quietly and patiently like a good little Asian kid.

I had a lot of balance issues as a child. I didn’t swing my arms properly and couldn’t walk in a straight line. I also fell a lot. She worked tirelessly with me on my gross motor skills. (Guess what, Mami, I’m a balance climber now!) She helped me with my homework. She spoke with me in Spanish. She painstakingly dressed me so that nobody knew I didn’t give a flying rat’s ass about my appearance.

 

fullsizeoutput_2e72Would anyone spend that much time on their child? I’m sure most parents wanted to, but the reality was they couldn’t. My mother rarely took time for herself because she poured her every waking moment into my existence. I was lucky to have such an attentive parent. Both my parents were extraordinarily loving however, my father traveled for work. He just wasn’t physically home all the time.

After Mum died I felt very alone. Life was foreign. My favorite person was nowhere. The house was empty. I turned the corner, nobody was there. I went outside, there was no one to call me in for dinner.

 

fullsizeoutput_2e71I felt deserted even though our extremely large family flocked to our sides in support. Friends came out of the woodwork and wept with us, people I didn’t know materialized out of thin air, but, none of them were my mom. And nobody could be.

She was not the only thing that died on August 6, 2002. I lost the most powerful connection I had to anyone, one I would never recapture. I suffered a loss I still don’t understand. Nothing could ever fill in that massive gap left over from a trauma like this.

 

Until Marmalade.

fullsizeoutput_2e74I have done nothing to deserve anyone (human or other species) like her. Even if I were the nicest, most altruistic person in the world, I could never justify Marmalade’s presence in my life. She is patient, kind, and gentle. Above all, she is maternal. She honestly believes she is my mother and cares for me like no one else.

She was a hospital cat at the clinic I worked at because the technician who previously owned her could not own pets in her new apartment. It’s weird to think “Samantha” was someone else’s love. Dad often says somewhere else she would have been your normal, run of the mill cat but she found her purpose with me. I needed security and stability and that is what Marmalade gave me.

 

M - Turtle!We adopted her seven days after my mother passed away and she must have picked up on something because since day one she was my caretaker and protector. She followed at my heels, she sat on me when I hurt, and she defended me from the world.

 

fullsizeoutput_2e77She sat with her front paws on my mouth when I got braces. She lay on my arms and legs when I had nightmares. She hit Dad and my friends if they tried to wake me from naps.

I was a kid and she cared for me. When I was sick she never left my side. She didn’t eat, she didn’t use the litter box, she didn’t even drink water. She only took the time for herself when I dragged myself to the kitchen. Once, I didn’t wait for her and I returned to my room. She screamed bloody murder until she found me (no exaggerations). Just like my mother, she existed for me.

 

fullsizeoutput_2e7eLife happens in a very strange way. Through the greatest loss of my life, I experienced the greatest love. Dad reminds me if my mom had lived I wouldn’t need the same type of relationship. Everything would be different. I would have never met Marmalade, Sunsilk (Affie, or the others). But, it doesn’t help to dwell on what could have been or not been.

 

fullsizeoutput_2e70Marmalade is 17 years old. She is near the end of her life any way I slice it. She is very healthy (not even given her age) but what’s going to happen when she dies? She’s physically been in my life longer than any human and our relationship is stronger than any I’ve had. Dad thinks M’s passing will be traumatizing to me and he honestly doesn’t know how I will react. Will it the straw that broke the camel’s back? I’ve been through a lot and come out the other side. Because Marmalade was there. What happens when she’s not? Am I going to make it?

I truly believe we learn from everything and everyone. I credit my parents for who I am (all that nurture vs. nature stuff) but I also owe a lot to Marmalade. She taught me how to be totally secure in myself — to a fault sometimes — and to be strong.

 

fullsizeoutput_2e79She was my training wheels. She got me through everything at my most vulnerable time. She appeared at the time I needed her most; when I mourned a massive loss. Little did I know that in time, she will become my biggest one.

 

Why is my Relationship with my 17 year old Cat, Marmalade, so important?

IMG_3457

(Marmalade passed away, two months shy of her 19th birthday, on April 18, 2020).

To my beautiful, darling girl: I will always love you the “mostest ever”. RIP Gorgeous Girl.

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Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

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“Got Pets? In Flare? Try These Tips…” | RheumatoidArthritis.net

30 Monday Jul 2018

Posted by MonicawithRA in Animal Sciences, Rheumatoid Arthritis

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

pets, rheumatoid arthritis

I’ll be honest, though, when they act up (at the exact same time, of course) as well as get sick in a group, taking care of them is no joke. And, it gets less hysterical when I myself am ill.

https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/got-pets-in-flare-try-these-tips-for-the-same-level-of-care/

 

IMG_4909

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

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Flashback Friday: That Time Affie Trotted Off

23 Saturday Dec 2017

Posted by MonicawithRA in Animal Sciences

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Tags

Affie, dogs, flashback friday, pets

I grew it up in a gorgeous wooded neighborhood. It was a protected area where homeowners could only expand their homes vertically and not horizontally so they wouldn’t disturb the forest. Because of this, the houses were generally small with large, untouched yards wrapped around them. Fun fact: One was built by Andrew Lloyd Wright and remained in his family!

I know it sounds like I grew up in a quiet rural environment but actually I lived in the suburbs of Washington DC! The city and it’s neighboring counties took their environment seriously.

DSCF1982

The surrounding streets connected through loops and general roundabouts with multiple outlets to the “main road”. This kind of made us one big happy neighboorhood, even if we didn’t know everyone who lived in the gorgeous 50 and 60 style houses.

Mine was not small but it was one story with a basement. It looked it, though, because of the vast garden. I was lucky that we had such an expansive yard. I had a lot of room to play and the dogs had plenty of space to run.

When we got Affie (our first dog) we decided to take advantage of this great big space and put in an invisible fence. I know it is a controversial topic but we thought it was a great idea because the dog had unblocked access to the entire property.

It was perfect for the Affie and Saachi (our second dog). They ran around all day (hours upon hours) as if they were farm animals and especially loved to trot next to other people walking their pets.

A in her Pillow Hat - 2007

In retrospect, this is probably why our pets are so aloof and self reliant. They preferred the outdoors and were not interested in playing fetch or Frisbee.

We liked to keep Affie’s fur short. It matted easily and I couldn’t keep up with the grooming. But, during late Fall, early winter we grew her hair out so she could stay outside and not freeze her little doggie butt.

The problem with this, we found out, was she would disregard her fence collar. We didn’t keep the shock too high but it was high enough that we thought she could feel it through inches of fur. Even now, we’re not convinced that she didn’t feel it.

Affie Chain - 2006

One weekday while I was at school a neighbor from three “neighborhoods” away rang our doorbell and handed Affie over to my father.

“We found her marching along the road!” she explained. My father was flabbergasted. He didn’t know the woman but thankfully she recognized Affie from when she walked her own dogs.

I don’t know how this lady caught this nutty dog but I have the upmost respect for her. Affie never came when she was called and played chase with anyone who looked at her.

Now, this is probably a good time to mention we checked on the dogs when they were outside but since they had full use of the property (front and back of the house) we never worried too much if we couldn’t see them. They explored every inch of the yard (and remember I mentioned it was very wooded) so we just assumed they were in some cranny inaccessible to us.

The woman was kind enough to remove Affie’s collar and it was still buzzing when she handed it over. She laughed “I can’t believe she didn’t feel it!”

DSCF1989

We couldn’t believe it either.

After that, we checked on Affie more frequently and I did catch her making a break for freedom a couple of times. I think she chose to ignore the zap to continue her carefree exploratory existence outside of her usual four corners.

 

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

 

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Flashback Friday – The More Crooked the Teeth, the More Active the Dog…

07 Saturday Oct 2017

Posted by MonicawithRA in Animal Sciences

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

flashback friday, Saachi

Like most puppies, Saachi gnawed and chewed as her adult teeth grew. Like most puppies, her mouth needed a lot of stimulation. Like a lot of puppies, Saachi destroyed furniture with her teething. Like a fair amount of puppies, Saachi chewed us out of house and home. Literally but not as dramatically.

Everything 001-2

We should have found more ways to re-direct Saachi’s teething. She was extremely aggressive and toys were out of the question with other pets around. She had a bad stomach so bones and sticks were too. What did that leave us with?

Chairs.

Her favorite was a blue one that was part of a set of in our guest living room. The space we entertained friends, extended family,…clients…

But, sitting in the middle of the room was this one chair, with one leg missing. A leg that was fully chewed off one lovely evening during an even lovelier dinner party. Saachi and Affie both messed around nuzzling our guests, receiving lots of coos and “aww! how cute!”s. We settled into the seats and began the typical rounds of conversation.

Sometime during the evening, my father suddenly tipped in the chair. Saachi, his pride and joy, lay at his feet and cleanly gnawed off the front right leg of his chair!

A normal family would have trashed the seats but I guess we weren’t normal because instead we centered the chair like a badge of pride (after all, Saachi was the child my father always wanted) and balanced it with “smart” books. You know, the long, difficult monologues or transcripts everyone says they’ve read but don’t actually understand…

 

At the end of the day, it wasn’t Saachi’s fault, it was ours but as a result Saachi had the most lopsided row of adult teeth ever. And she, like us, flaunted them with pride!

Smiling.JPG

 

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

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#AtoZChallenge – M is for Marmalade

13 Saturday May 2017

Posted by MonicawithRA in Animal Sciences

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

blogging, Blogging A to Z, pets

Here is the next installment of the Furry Friends tag! Today, I answer the questions for Marmalade who is my oldest and first pet! She holds a special place in my heart and I in hers. After all, she does think she’s my mother!

Enjoy!

 

IMG_4040What is your pet’s name?

Marmalade. Her “birth” name was Samantha. She is sooo not a Samantha!

 

What kind of pet is she and what breed?

She is a feline tabby. A tabby is basically the mutt of the feline world.

 

SleepingHow long have you had your pet friend?

Almost 15 years.

 

How did you get your pet friend?

We adopted Marmalade one week after my mother passed away in August 2002. She was one year old. She was a “hospital cat” at the clinic I work at. Her owner could not take Marmalade to her new apartment and asked the vet to find her a new home. The first time we met she just rolled over onto her back and showed us her belly. We knew she was ours.

She must have picked up on something because she immediately took on the role of “mom”. She protected and took care of me.

She is a very maternal and loving cat!

MarmaladeandMEHow old is your pet?

She will be 16 in July.

 

What are some quirky things about your pet?

She loves the color red.

She looks and acts like a 5-7 year old. Nobody believes she is actually 16 because she has boundless energy and is still as limber as a kitten.

She is the alpha of the house and she knows it. She controls everyone, gets first dibs at the litter box and gets the most attention. This being said, she is surprisingly benign to Sunsilk. Marmalade lets her eat first and does not crowd her.

As she has gotten older, though, Marmalade has become more jealous. She needs more attention and sometimes does not let Sunsilk near me! I guess this is a consequence of aging.

 

Marmalade Face

What does your relationship to your pet mean to you?

She takes care of and protects me (in her own way). She sticks to me like glue whenever I am sick. She will wait until I fall asleep to eat, drink and use the litter box and she will beat up anyone who comes near me. I can’t ask for a better protector than her!

She is the best first cat I could have asked for. She is patient and loving and lets me get away with a whole lot like pinching her ears and pulling her whiskers.

Without her, I would not have gotten through half the “downs” in my life.

IMG_3895What are some of your favorite past times with your pet?

Honestly, just being together. Whenever she is with me I feel safe.

 

Nicknames?

Parmpi, Parmpi-Marmpi, Gorg (short for gorgeous), Bestest Friend in the Whole Wide World (magic words for her to stop grumbling…seriously!)

 

DSCN0018-001Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

 

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K is for the time Affie turned into Kibble

13 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by MonicawithRA in Animal Sciences

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Tags

Blogging A to Z, dog, jaw, pets, surgery

I don’t think I ever really went into detail about Affie’s attack four years ago. Saachi tore Affie’s lower mandible off her face. It was possibly the most dramatic event to ever happen to me.

 

IMAG0682.jpg

It was Saturday morning. I was warming up the dogs’ AM meal in the microwave (they eat home cooked food). My aunt was at the sink washing dishes. Suddenly, we heard Affie cry and we turned to see Saachi shaking her like a rag doll.

My aunt shrieked bloody murder and grabbed Saachi by her neck. I grabbed whatever part of Affie I could and pulled in the other direction.

IMG-20130224-00205

Our yelling woke the entire household and they came running from every direction. I was still in complete shock. There were pools of blood all over the floor.

We rushed her to our clinic. My dad drove while I kept Affie conscious. We were almost at the hospital when she went into shock. The light left her eyes…I tried to stay calm and said “Come on Affie, wake up…wake up”. Dad freaked and almost crashed into the car ahead of us. I didn’t know what to do except grab Affie’s tongue and yank and pull almost hard enough to pull it off. She woke up (thankfully, because that would have been the end) just as we pulled into the parking lot.

Our vets called the closest emergency clinic and made calls to friends (dental surgeons) to get her into surgery as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the earliest appointment was Monday so we took her to emergency. I don’t know why we didn’t initially go there first. We probably should have but we were on autopilot and went to my work instead.

Photo on 3-2-13 at 9.20 PMThe veterinarian-on-call told me Affie’s lower mandible was separated from the top. I did not understand her words. I couldn’t fathom that my dog’s head was in two pieces and she was still alive.

 

IMG-20130430-00069Affie stayed in emergency, with her jaw taped closed, through the weekend. She, being the stubborn brat that she was, kept tearing off the tape. Her doctor worried she was very anxious to which I laughed and said she just didn’t like it and she wasn’t going to wear it!

Monday came and we took her to the surgeon. He took x-rays and showed us (read: me) the breaks (Dad can’t stomach this kind of thing). The right break was while the left was shattered pieces of jaw. He wired her mouth closed but left enough space for her tongue to grab food. He knew the right side would heal while it was a waiting game for the left. If the bone did not repair itself properly Affie faced paralysis for the rest of her life.

 

IMG-20130506-00086Affie wore the wires for six months and it took just as long for her broken leg to heal. Thankfully, given her diet, she had no trouble eating (the food is mostly ground). She was on house arrest and cranky but her bones healed perfectly.

 

IMG-20130411-00353Affie felt better within 10 days of the attack and immediately forgave Saachi. She wanted to run and play with her. She wanted to jump up on her face and lick her (which is how we ended up in this debacle). It was a full time job separating the dogs and keeping Affie from injuring herself more.

Affie was a stubborn dog. An obstinate and hard-headed dog. She was resilient and refused to die. I frequently called her my Nalgene bottle because no matter what happened she never broke.

 

IMG-20130522-00089

“Mom! Look! I got my wires out!

 

It’s weird to think Affie might not be here today. She should have died. It’s unnerving to think about that sometimes. What is even more amazing it’s like nothing happened! She is as strong as ever and has the exact same temperament (even around Saachi). She has frequently has nightmares but hey, if that’s the only trauma that came from this then I consider her extremely lucky!

 

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AtoZ – D is for Deceased Dog

05 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by MonicawithRA in Animal Sciences

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Tags

blogging, Blogging A to Z, dogs, pets, Saachi

Saachi and Sunsilk both start with S so I had to be creative in doing Saachi’s Furry Friends tag! Saachi passed away just over two years ago from Hemangiosarcoma (cancer of the blood). She may be gone but she remains part of the pack.

DSCF2013

What is your pet’s name?

Saachi. Her “birth” name was Lottie.

What kind of pet is she and what breed?

Saachi was a purebred Bullmastiff dog.

Big Puppy (5 mo.)

How long have you had your pet friend? 

Almost 9 years! We adopted her at two months and she passed away at eight and a half years.

DSCF2219

How did you get your pet?

Saachi was our fourth adoption. Soon after we adopted Affie, Dad exclaimed he wanted his own dog. He traveled a lot for work and the first three kind of attached themselves to me. I agreed but only if it was a giant breed. I specifically wanted a Great Dane. To this day, I don’t remember why this was so important to me.

Dad disagreed. He thought they were too common…even though I had only ever seen one near our home.

Second choice? A mastiff. My father set to work and researched mastiffs. One day, I heard him yelling from his office and he excitedly showed me pictures of this silly looking pup up for adoption in Kentucky.

“What do you think??”

“She’s cute…kind of chubby…but really cute..”

“Good, because I already emailed the owners”.

My father was ecstatic. He emailed EVERYONE photos of Lottie and captioned them ‘the new addition to the family’. Now would be a good time to mention the adoption was not yet final! Hah!

How old is your pet?

Saachi passed away at 8.5 years.

What are some quirky things about your pet’s personality?

Hmmm…she hated me? She just strongly disliked me. I was the disciplinarian of the family and she was a spoilt, spoilt dog! It was not until I returned from college that she realized she actually loved and missed me!

“Wouldn’t it be funny if the phrase ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ held true with her?”

“I wouldn’t count on it, she really doesn’t like you!” -Dad

It was not until after I returned home from school that first break that she did a complete 180 and actually liked me!

IMG_20150403_223206

But, I digress. An actual quirk? Saachi believed she was a cat. She grew up in a family with two adult cats, who she adored. She wanted to be part of Sunsilk and Marmalade’s club but they wouldn’t let her. In order to be more like them, she kneaded blankets, beds and bodies and came up with her own version of purring!

What does your relationship to your pet mean to you?

My pets mean the world to me. My father traveled a lot for work so my pack was my family. Even though I was not Saachi’s favorite person she was extremely protective of me. She would bark at every little noise and stand guard at the front door whenever I was alone in the house. Her love was unfailing and unwavering.

20150131_162429-1-1

What are some of your favorite past times with your pet?

Nap time. Saachi was the perfect blanket. She lay on top of me and since she was bigger than me I was never cold!

Tug of war — Best ab work out ever.

DSCF1337

Nicknames?

“No!” Saachi was so big she never got away with anything.

“Ugly” …I feel sort of bad about this one…When she was little her head grew too big for her body and she looked rather comical. It was a couple of months before her body caught up but the nickname stuck!

The bobsy twins

Hi, my name is Monica and I have RA.

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